We have really enjoyed writing these blog posts. As we get into the early game, many of us took to the streets to find out what exactly it is that makes a blog post a blog post. I noticed there that many blogs will just write and write and write. You click on the link, you go to the blog post, and boom, a thousand words of essay right before your eyes.  The intro takes forever to get through. It just goes on and on, usually something to do with something that the writer experienced as a kid with their mother’s home cooking. 

Once you get past that super long intro paragraph, you think there is something better to offer in the next paragraph. Anything, please, ANYTHING that will keep the reader engaged on the post. Believe it or not, the writer has simply added a new paragraph out of nowhere just to keep the reader engaged enough to continue their ongoing thought from the intro. It seems that it will never end. This intro just keeps extending into lines and paragraphs you never thought possible. It seems the blog is doomed to be limited to the confines of a shallow intro meant to milk out as many words as possible before the reader even gets into the meat of their topic. Will relevance ever come?

At this point, you’re in. If you had clicked away before you read this paragraph, you would have been safe from signing the imaginative contract requiring you to finish reading this endless blog post. If you had clicked away before reading this paragraph, you would have saved two precious minutes from your life that you could have spent investing in some cool stocks or building a fort. Little did you know that you have to keep reading. There’s no other choice. You can’t quit now—there may be something entirely useful to you hidden somewhere before the final paragraph. This could be your next topic of conversation at that party that what’s-her-face is throwing. It could be the perfect thing to bring up when your spouse does that embarrassing thing again when you have friends over. 

This is well into the middle of the blog post now. Many blog posts try to reach a certain goal of 1000 wordcount, so they continue to write things that have almost nothing to do with the actual topic of their post. It’s incredible. It’s almost a talent. In a way… I envy them. Right now I’m at about 422 words (does writing out a number as a set of numbers count as a word?... Let’s find out… 2847 wow yes it totally does! I did not know that.) and I’m having a difficult time keeping you interested. It’s at about this point where I’ve literally stretched out this intro so incredibly long that I myself am beginning to wonder if I can stretch it any further without it affecting your ability to continue in this post. 

But boom, there it is. Another stalling tactic. It’s uncanny! Surely this writer must have some dignity as to not string their reader on for as long as possible simply to extend their message to its fullest capability. Alas, here we are, still wondering where on earth this post is going. The writer here is truly milking this out as long as it can go. 

Ok, now I’ve got to make a stand. Literally, it’s now or never. You’ve been pushed to the limit. You might opt out of that contract you signed, citing this experience as a total loss and an ultimate waste of time. Nothing was gained, and some things were lost. So here it is. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. This is the topic you’ve been waiting on this entire post:

The GetOutPass is pretty cool.

I said it. There it is. I think the GetOutPass is a cool thing. 

So now, we embraced the meat of the dinner, and we found that the entirety of the entrée was one single chicken nugget. Pray, don’t misunderstand me, I love me some chicken nuggets, but there were so many hopes and aspirations in this tragically long post, only for you to discover that the actual content was only somewhat interesting. You’re thinking “one nugget is nice, but you know, I would have liked 9 more, and perhaps some BBQ to go with it.” 

Did you ever get that Christmas present that was wrapped a thousand times over? You spend your time digging and scratching through. Your discovery of the second layer is a surprise, and a welcome one at that. It’s cute and endearing that the wrapper would play this sweet little prank on you. Then the third layer reveals itself. Yes, funny, you give a laugh. The fourth, more or less the same reaction as the third with less enthusiasm. The fifth, sixth, seventh, now this is just annoying. Just when you think you’ve got it… There’s another one. Now you can’t help but laugh a little bit, because it’s somehow funny again. Then you find that, underneath it all, was one single dollar. Was it worth it? Maybe. But now you’re stuck with it, and you’ve got to take the most from the experience. 

Do these sorts of blogs have anything to offer? Do they provide anything for the betterment of the human race? I can’t sit here and honestly tell you that they do. This post in its self-awareness was hopefully enough of a mend to keep you from truly getting annoyed and feel that you were wasting your time. We at the GetOutPass are all about fun, and right now, some of the most fun that we and you can have is through writing and reading. 

As we step into the blog game, be prepared to have your mind blown, your senses stimulated and your brain engaged in some exciting posts about wholesome, fun activities for you, your friends, and your family. 

- Dallin